The Hardest Goodbye...

     December 13, 2004 our little family of 6 left our comfortable life in Ohio, USA and moved across
the ocean to the country of England.  We moved to a little town called Carlisle on the Northwest coast bordering England and Scotland.  We knew no one in this city. We knew no one within 100 miles of this city.  We did not yet know the culture, but we did know that God had called us to start a church and to make a difference in this city.
     April 6, 2006 Lighthouse Baptist Church was started and has definitely seen it 's ups and downs.  There have been weeks where it was just our family sitting in the seats in the middle of the huge community centre hall.  Through it all God has blessed and we have been shown time and time again that it was 100% His leading that our family came to England and specifically the city of Carlisle.  We fell in love with the community, the culture, the country side, the language but most importantly, THE PEOPLE.

**Fast forward now, 9 1/2 years (and two more children:) and God has shown us that it is His time for us to leave the country of England.  **

After 33 years at our home church, my pastor father, Dr. David Curington, will be retiring from pastoring to move into a new roll in his ministry.  He will be traveling and speaking across the country as well as continuing to write his pastoral study materials/helps.  My mother will continue to write her children's lessons and make them available to churches nationwide as well. (www.pkpublications.com - check them out for great KJV 1611 study materials)  Our home church, Central Baptist Church of Amelia, Ohio voted to call Andy back as their new pastor!  Not a decision to be made lightly, Andy and I both fasted and prayed for God's clear guidance.  With utter peace in our hearts, Andy accepted the call to pastor Central Baptist Church.
     Lighthouse Baptist Church of Carlisle has been going from strength to strength!  We knew God would not have us leave the church here without a "shepherd" pastor to lead them.  We began to pray in earnest for God to send someone.  Enter the Keith and Kimberly Cashner family….
     Unknown to us, God was already moving in the hearts of Keith and Kimmy that they would be moving their ministry.  We spoke with Bro. Keith and Kimmy and within a couple of months, it was clear to us all that God would have them be the next pastor/family to lead at Lighthouse Baptist Church.  
     So began the process of telling our church members here in England.  Much dread, tears and time was spent telling these beloved folks that God was moving us on.  In the absence of any family close to us, the church members have filled our lives with love and caring just as any family would.  How difficult it has been to tell each of them that we are leaving and lay this precious ministry into the Cashner's capable hands. God has been in it each step of the way and for that we are ever thankful.
      The selling of our belongings, settling of affairs and packing up the house began and, as always, we thought we would have "loads of time"!  It went by all too swiftly! Tonight, we now sit in a hotel room in Manchester ready to fly out in the morning to move back to America for good!  How fast the time has gone!  Talking about what the future will hold is gone. The future is here now!  We are leaving England (as our home) for good!  There is definitely a surreal feeling tonight as we face certain changes.
     True, we are Americans, but almost 10 years of our lives have been lived outside of America and in a uniquely different culture.  Almost all of what my children know is British!  Most, if not all, of their lives have been spent in England.  They have all had their moments of tears.  They have all had their moments of excitement.  I believe, like Andy and I, they thought we would always be in England.  It is a strange, yet definitely exciting, time for our family as a whole.
     I, personally, have cried so much my eyes are sore.  I can handle selling off more than half of my worldly possessions.  That is just stuff!  What is hard, is leaving dear folks that have become like brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews to you.  Families that have become so dear to our every day lives. They are the ones that we are finding it so difficult to leave.  We are so blessed that they have expressed over and over how much they will miss us and that we have had an impact on their lives.


     We had been in England for a little over a year and wondered if we had left just then, would anyone even remember that we had been here.  We wanted to badly to make a difference for Christ where He had called us to minister.  We determined that we would put down deep roots and love the people around us - not just on Sundays, but every day.  We made sure that our home was always open. We tried to put the needs of the people above our own needs. We prayed for God to do a work in and around us.  Yesterday was our last Sunday and 50 people gathered at the Denton Holme Community Centre for services at Lighthouse Baptist Church!!!  What a blessing to know that there has been a difference made for the cause of Christ in the city of Carlisle, England.  Through my mind's eye, I can clearly seen each of the dear faces of the Lighthouse church family! They are each beloved to us!
 
  We are blessed to know that thanks to the tender hearts of the church family and the leadership of Pastor Cashner, the Lighthouse Baptist Church of Carlisle will go on as strong as ever even in our absence.  The church belongs to God and we know that He will continue to bless as they strive to know more of our Lord.
     Our hearts are so full of the emotions of the past few days.  We are sad to leave England, but excited to move into the new ministry God has called us to.  We love the folks of Carlisle, but our hearts are already full of love for the precious folks of Central Baptist Church of Amelia, Ohio.  We are humbled by all God has allowed us to see and experience through the ministry here in England and we are brought very low to think that He would allow us the privilege of serving the dear folks of our home church that has loved and supported us for so long.  We are blessed beyond comprehension!  A dream come true!
Our hearts are overflowing with thankfulness.
     Tomorrow we will board the plane that will take us from a land that we have loved for more than 14 years!  We are ever thankful for each experience and each friend made along the way.  What a journey we have been on and we look forward to the miles we will travel in our future service for our Lord!

Thankful for a Life

     Have you ever gone through times when you felt like you were on the outside looking in on your own life?  Have you felt like you were moving along, going through the motions, but not REALLY focused on the details of daily life?  The past few weeks have been like that here at the Sturm house.
     In our last post, Brieanna was healing from her recent surgery, we were rejoicing in a wonderful Valentine dinner with our fabulous church family and then dealing with second degree burns on our youngest child Emily.  No sooner had we jumped that hurdle when Andy had to leave to go to America to be with his dying mother.  It just seemed one thing on top of another.  Still God was gracious!

     Andy was able to make it back to see his mother and even spent a few days with her.  On March 1, 2014, Linda Sturm finally won her fight with pain and peacefully went home to be with our Saviour.  Our hearts are crushed by the loss, but we are ever thankful for God's mercy in that she is no longer suffering.

     *How could I comfort my husband over the phone?  I felt displaced.  

     *How could I tell my babies that they will never see their Grandma Linda again on this earth? I felt unprepared.  

     *How could I show my husband's family how much I truly loved and cared for this dear lady, my second mother?  I felt insincere and distant.

     At a time in the lives of my "in law" family when I desperately wanted to "be there" for them, I was an ocean away.  When my heart longed to be a daughter, sister, and grand-daughter to my precious "second family" I was too far away!  I know I am where God has placed us.  I know I was needed here at home to help my children through their grief, but oh how I wanted to hug Andy's neck and give my love to his brother, sister, father and grandmother.  I wanted to help.  I wanted to have a chance to tell my "second mom" goodbye and thank her for the 33 years of friendship and love. To thank her for her influence through my church family and her encouragement in my own family.

     How do you say thank you to the woman who gave you the love of your life?  My mother-in-law raised my husband to be the man that he is today!  She taught him to be a gentleman.  She instilled in him character, caring and amazing generosity.  Her mischievous and "jokester" personality is ever present in my husband. So many of the things that made my husband into the man I love today, are thanks to this lady! I grope for words to express my gratitude for the life of Linda Sturm.
      I cannot say thank you enough!  I cannot express my grief or heartache at this loss.  All I pray now is that she knew how much I, as her daughter-in-law, loved her.  I pray she knew how special she was to her grandchildren.  I pray she knew that I will ALWAYS do my best to take care of her son.

     Today, the funeral is over.  Today, my husband is back at home.  Today, we try to get back to "normal" life.  From today, the real loss and grieving begins. From today, we will ever be thankful for the life of Linda Sturm and her influence on our family!
     Though the reality of her absence is too hard to fully grasp, the impact she had on so many is easily felt.  Hundreds of friends and family came out to the visitation/wake and funeral to let Andy's family know how much this wonderful lady meant to them.  Her talent as a professional cake decorator and her life as a friend left an impact on so many!
     Mum Sturm demonstrated true "quiet strength" for so many years.  Though pain and suffering were a large part of her life, she continued to smile.  Even to the end, she insisted that Andy and our family were "right where we are supposed to be" and that even Andy should "not come home for me." Her answer to her own welfare was always "I'm fine" with a little grin.  Her desire was for Andy to follow the will of God and never waver - even for her!  To say that I admire this great lady would be an understatement.
    We will always cherish the times we had with her and we will try our best to remember all that she taught us and stood for.  We will never stop looking forward to that sweet Heavenly reunion!

  Though our hearts ache at this loss, our family can honestly smile and say Thank you, Lord, for the life of Linda Sturm.

…when my heart is overwhelmed:...

…lead me to the rock that is higher than I." - Psalm 61:2b

     I have been overwhelmed at times in my life.  I am sure everyone can empathize with that feeling.  At times it can seem that everything is bearing down on you at once and the air around you gets a bit hard to breathe.  We have had some days like that as of late….
     The past few weeks have been  bit of a blur.  There has been doctor's appointments for Andy (his health has not been at its best in the past couple of months), caring for Brieanna as she heals and then a second surgery and hospital stay for her just 4 weeks ago.  We even had a procedure for Andy in the same hospital, AT THE SAME TIME as Brieanna's surgery! Andy's mother has been in and out of hospital and Andy has been extremely worried - especially with not being able to be near her.  We have been planning for our church Couple's Valentine's dinner as well as company coming to stay with us and then a baptism and "all church dinner" as well. These are all necessary, needed, and even fun things to have in our lives.
     The Cashner family arrived on Friday, February 7.  Saturday, the day of church Valentine dinner, was crazy but so worth it as the meal and activities went so well!  The folks had a great time and Bro. Keith Cashner brought a very needed and applicable devotion for the night.  Dinner was so yummy and the whole spirit of the night was sweet!  God really blessed the fellowship through the evening.


     It was late when we finally got the community centre back in shape and headed home.  Pulling into our drive, Andy got a phone call that Emily had fallen and gotten hurt!  We rushed out of the car and into the house and upstairs to find the Brieanna sobbing, and Emily, poor girl, naked and screaming on the floor.  I expected blood, but what we got was VERY pink legs and rear-end area.  While running their bath, the kids had turned on just the HOT water and Emily had fallen into it trying to climb into the tub on her own.  I had no idea our water got THAT hot!

Grace Showed Up - Again!

January 28, 2014,     Brieanna Round 2 - Day 1 

     It is amazing how, some times (okay, most times), our minds just run wild with thoughts of how certain situations will play out.  To be honest, I just could not imagine today's events.  Would we be running all over the hospital checking on Brieanna who was having her small bowel put back together and stoma stitched closed and then back to the other side of the hospital to check on Andy who was having upper and lower GI scopes performed?  Maybe I would just be sitting in a waiting room for news on one or the other?  I honestly did not know how it would all work out.  Would I be a nervous wreck?  Would I cry or be scared?  Others emotions can be hard to gauge at times, but your own emotions?  Surely I should know my own response.  Not always the case, I am finding out.  Especially not when that extra measure of grace appears!

What's So Special About "Normal" Anyway?

Have you ever felt like you did not belong?  Have you ever been in a room full of people but still felt like you were standing alone?  Maybe you have felt like you were "just not normal"  or "not like everyone else".  It is never a wonderful feeling, but I do believe it is okay to be different than "the norm".  It is okay to swim against the tide.  What it is not, is easy!
     It has been 6 weeks since Brieanna's surgery.  She is dealing well with each day as it comes.  She has gotten use to the fact that we have to change her external bag and clean the stoma area each morning.  She has even gotten use to emptying the bag and has adjusted to the pain of stitches pulling and even the necessity to sit on a pillow at all times.  On the outside, Brieanna has done so well and her body is healing nicely.  We are awaiting word from the doctor in January 2014 to be called to the hospital to have the reversal surgery and put her all together again. =) For this news, our whole family is so thankful.
     Emotions are funny things, though.

When God Steps In

 

 Well, the time is almost here…..Brie is scheduled to go in for the reversal surgery here in just two days!  It just seems so unreal, yet we are all so ready!

     The past almost 12 weeks have been a myriad of triumphs and trials, stumbles and progress, giggles and tears.  I have cried and laughed with Brieanna.  We have giggled at the strange noises coming from "Steve the Stoma" on a daily basis and we have tried to help Brie endure the pain and, yes, even embarrassment, she has felt through the changes her body has suffered.

      I cannot comprehensively express the pride I have felt in ALL of my children over the past 12 weeks.  Now, I have always been proud of my babies - I am their mother after all :) - but watching the way they have patiently taken care of their older sister has brought me to tears on more occasions than I could count.  Brie has always taken care of her brothers and sisters in such a "little mommy" sort of way, it has been sweet to watch her siblings reciprocate the gesture for their big sister. 

THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS ALL ABOUT!!