Nothing but Thankful...

As a parent, to say that you are nervous when your child has a medical procedure is a gross understatement!  The worry, stress, fear and emotion that goes into those kind of days are exhausting and unparalleled to most strenuous tasks.  When your heart is so involved, every sense is peaked and working overtime.  That was the days we have had this week...

Noah went into the hospital at 6:00am on Tuesday, May 23, 2017 and was finally taken back to do an embolization procedure on his nasal tumor (JNA) at 11:00am.  This embolization would help the doctors remove the tumor the next day.  The embolization was finally finished by about 4:45pm. Thankfully, they were able to embolize about 80% of the tumor which would help keep the bleeding to a minimum during the tumor removal.  Noah was sedated and kept on a ventilator and brought to the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) for the evening.  He would have to lie completely flat for about 4 hours to allow the wound site at the artery to heal completely, then he would gradually be raised up in the bed.  I have to admit there is just no words for seeing your chid hooked up to a machine like that.  I have had children in the hospital numerous times, but the shock of seeing my son unconscious hooked to a breathing was rough.  We were very thankful for sweet prayers offered up at that moment.

After a long night monitoring Noah and making sure if he did wake he did not fight the intubation tube, Noah was prepped for the second phase of surgery on Wednesday, May 24, 2017.  They finally come to take him to the OR at about 11:00am.  Once more we kissed our boy goodbye and gave him our love.  Prayers were made over Noah and for the doctors and we left our boy at the door of the OR once more.  This day the hours seemed to go slower. Maybe I was tired, but I seemed to worry more over this surgery.  So many things could go wrong!  Bleeding was the biggest fear, but being so close to the brain is concerning no matter what the surgery!

Finally, at about 5:00pm we were called to talk to the doctor.  Noah had come through with flying colors.  The bleeding was minimal and they were able to get ALL of the tumor!  He would go for an MRI the next day to check the wound site and give the doctors a baseline for future scans.  Noah will be required to have a third procedure in 2-3 weeks to clean the removal site - but that will be as an outpatient.  Again, there are just not words to describe the relief and thankfulness that we felt in that moment. Our friends and family and even strangers had been praying for our precious son.  The family of God had petitioned the Father on our behalf.  As one precious text said, it is wonderful when "His will lines up with our own".  That is exactly what happened.

God had done it again.  He showed up and showed off just because He could.  What a Great Savior!

Noah finally woke up back in the PICU room.  He became fully awake and when I began to tell him about the plum sized tumor they had removed from his face, he said "the doctor is going to take that out tomorrow right?"  I laughed and said "No, bud, she already did that today.  The surgeries are over".  He looked at me incredulously.  He couldn't believe it was all over.  He had lost a day and could not remember anything about Tuesday other than arriving at the hospital.  I am actually thankful that he did not remember the struggle of his poor body when he awoke a few times hooked to the ventilator.  Blessed mercy.

All day today was spent making sure Noah was comfortable in bed and not in any pain.  Slowly but surely, he had all IV fluids and oxygen removed from him.  He is still numb on the right side of his face between his mouth and his eye.  The doctor is hopeful that the feeling will return to that area - most if not all.  They seem to feel that the nerves surrounding that area will make up for any damage done during surgery.  He may have a spot of numbness forever, but most feeling should return after time.  Noah's face is quite swollen still, but that too will subside - quicker than the numbness.  The future looks amazing for our sweet loving boy!  The doctor even said "he can resume his modeling career" as there are no outward signs on his face. haha

Noah was taken for an MRI at about 3:00pm today and his surgeon came to visit and read the results. As expected, all looked fantastic!  We will stay in the hospital one more night to learn how to irrigate the wound for Noah and if all goes well through the night he will be released to go home to his own bed tomorrow morning.  That is all Noah wants right now.  He tires very easily and does not have much of an appetite yet but he is doing so well.  We are more thankful than we can say for those who have prayed, texted, emailed, called and encouraged our family along the way.  We are grateful for those who have cried with us and rejoiced with us as God has shown up as only He can.  Again, our God has shown to have no parallel. His ways are so above our ways and our family will be ever thankful for the awesome blessings of our Lord.  

God's Got This!

For about the last 6 months, my middle, 13 year old son, Noah, has struggled to breathe through his nose and had begun snoring very loudly.  Having had his tonsils and adenoids removed several years ago, we wondered what could now be causing the new issues.  After seeing Noah's pediatrician and having a couple months of  prescribed steroids and antihistamines we did not see any real results.  Finally, the pediatrician referred Noah to an ENT doctor at the Cincinnati Children's hospital.  

Truth be told, we fully expected to find a polyp in the nasal passages causing the blockage.  Knowing that Noah has the FAP gene that my husband carries, we knew nasal polyps could be a possibility.  On March 1, 2017,  while at the hospital, the ENT tried to do a scope of Noah's sinuses, but the right passage was completely blocked off.  Even in the monitors, Andy and i could see nothing but white as the camera tried to scope the area.  Finally, the ENT sent us for a CT scan with dye contrast to see what was going on.  We were able to have that test done the same day at the hospital.  

We had only arrived home from the hospital for a matter of an hour or so when the ENT called to tell us that it was not a polyp in the nose or remnants of adenoid tissue as she suspected.  Noah had a tumor in his sinus.  A Juvenile Nasopharyngeal Angiofibroma (JNA).  This is a very vascular tumor that is found only in males and usually presents itself during puberty.  The doctor assured me that the "mass" is always benign, but can cause issues by growing large and breaking through the sinus cavity and/or eroding the bone in that area.  Surgery would definitely be needed as would an MRI and interventional radiology to embolus the vessels that feed the tumor. 

To say we were shocked would be an understatement ... but God knew and cared!

March 3, 2017, Noah's 13th birthday, we went for an MRI of his nasal passages.  What a way to start the teen years!

Fast forward a few weeks and here we are ready to head to the hospital in the morning for surgery.  Noah has lost all sense of smell and taste as his nasal passage has been blocked by the tumor.  The snoring has increased terribly and he does not sleep well.  He cannot taste anything anymore and at times feels pressure in his right ear like it needs to "Pop".   

Noah is ready for this surgery!  When you ask him is he is nervous, he says "not really" with a shrug and a chuckle.  He is just ready to have it over with so that he can get on with a great summer and be able to taste food again.  My fun, loving, jokester, easy-going man is just ready to be "normal" again - whatever that means.  ha!

Tomorrow morning, May 23, 2017, the radiologist with spend 6+ hours emobilizing Noah's tumor to cut off the direct blood supply so that it can be removed more easily.  Due to the vascular nature of the tumor, there could be HUGE amounts of blood loss if this is not first carried out. They will do this process through stints/shunts in is artery - going through the leg all the way up through the neck.   The will inject dye to make sure none of those blood vessels feed the eyes or the brain, etc.  Once they isolate the vessels to the tumor itself, they will fill them with mircoparticals to "clog" them up to prevent bleeding during surgery.  Such a delicate and tedious process.  Noah will be required to lie flat for 4-6 hours after the embolization and will remain in ICU and intubated through the night.  On Wednesday, May 24, 2017, Noah will then have surgery to remove the entire tumor (Lord willing).  This has all been planned to happen laparoscopically and will require another 4-5+ hours of surgery time.  

To say this has been a bit overwhelming would be "putting it mildly" but as always, we have been reminded of the one constant in our lives - the grace of the Almighty.  We still serve the same loving, merciful Father that has always been with us.  He is still sovereign and knows what He is doing - whether or not we understand the circumstances.  Our family has been amazing and supportive and our sweet church folks have been precious and caring.  God put us in the midst of the right people at the right time for the painful circumstances we could never have foreseen   At those moments when the "what ifs" surround this mama's heart and his daddy would beg to trade places with his sweet son - God's grace surrounds.  We are every thankful for the sweet, tender, AMAZING grace of our Saviour and the prayers of His saints.

God's got this - Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you. - I Peter 5:7

What a wonderful, liberating and precious thought!

SECOND TIME IS A CHARM!

Here were are in the hospital still and it has been a whirlwind to say the least.  With surgery being cancelled Monday due to the stoma placement markings not having been done, we had to wait until Tuesday morning to actually have the surgery performed.  What a night!  Andy was miserable and exhausted and he had not even had the surgery yet!

TUESDAY MORNING CAME AND ALL PREPARATIONS WERE MADE

DOUBLE CHECKED THIS TIME!  SURGERY WAS A GO!

Praise the Lord, Andy was finally going to go into surgery.  The sun was just coming up over the horizon in Cincinnati when they came to take my hubby away for surgery.  Prayer was said around his bedside and off he went again.  Off we went again - the waiting room!

wait,      Wait,      WAIT       WAIT

Andy was taken back to the OR at 7:15am and other than the occasional update of "surgeon is still working and he is doing fine" we did not know any further details on how the surgery was going.  Long about 1:00pm my little waiting room pager beeped and it was time to see the surgeon.  The 6 hour surgery was over!  Praise the Lord.  Brie and I braced ourselves to hear what the surgeon would say.

"HE DID GREAT!" were the first words we heard!  What a true answer to prayers.   Andy lost a lot of blood during the surgery (1.5 liters) but the surgeon had expected that.  She said he should make a full recovery and that she was very pleased with how the surgery had gone.  Once again, the surgeon apologized for the delay and  then told us we would be able to see him in a couple of hours.

Finally, at 5:00pm, we were told to go up to Andy's room and he would be brought up there. A few minutes after we arrived in the room, Andy was wheeled in.  Definitely groggy and tubes running in and out of him, but he was okay.  God is so faithful.  The prayers of God's people moved the hands of the surgeon.  Relief flooded in as well as exhaustion!  Sometimes the worry can keep you awake, but relief seems to wash all of that away and you are just left feeling drained.  Andy's father had been with me all day and he finally went home.  Andy's brother and his wife visited for a few minutes that evening and after they left Brie and I decided to go home for some sleep as well.  Seven hours of sleep in 2.5 days is just not enough and we were feeling it.  The nurse said Andy would sleep most of the night still under the effect of the anesthesia so Brie and I felt it was okay to leave him.

Exhaustion can make you do some crazy things and feel some  crazy emotions.  These couple of days have been a roller coaster of emotions - disappointment, fear, worry, relief, thankfulness and many more.  My guy has been through the surgery and is doing well and so the emotion I clung to as I left the hospital to head home and see my children was GRATEFULNESS!  

I AM GRATEFUL!

The surgery was a success!  My children are happy and healthy.  Our church family has been amazing, caring  and so supportive.  Our extended family has sent messages of love and prayers and support.  Friends from all over the world sent messages of encouragement, concerns and prayers.  We are so blessed.  God has been so good.  There is always a reason for everything.  God knew when we started this journey that there would be a delay.  He planned it perfectly and we know that His way is best.  We absolutely know that this second time around is God's plan and we rest in that comfort.  Now the long road of healing can begin.

FOR OUR GOOD AND FOR HIS GLORY

It's time for the inevitable surgery.  It's time for the surgery that we knew was in the future several years ago...THE FUTURE IS TODAY. :-/  (even though we wish it was never!)

Today is the day Andy will have his next major surgery.  The J-Pouch that was formed almost 14 years ago is failing and making him miserable.  In order to have a better quality of life, that internal pouch will be removed today and a permanent external pouch (ileostomy) will be put in place.  We have been very anxious over this procedure but like it or not, the time has come. 

After talking and preparing ourselves mentally and physically until 2:00am this morning, we went to bed....but 4:30am came very early!  Off to the hospital!

The usual prep and pre-op procedures went great and according to plan.  7:30am came and Andy was taken back to surgery.  We all prayed and took a deep breath. God knew what He was doing!

UH   OH!!  (never good to hear)

Not long after Andy went back to the OR, I got a page and was put on the phone with Andy's doctor.  His surgeon was NOT happy at all!  The surgery that we had carefully planned for was being cancelled!  All of the medicines and prep work was for naught as the surgeon discovered that Andy had not been marked for the placement of the external pouch.  If the surgeon just gave an educated guess as to where to place it, a second (or more) surgery may be needed and would pose a higher risk of future complications for Andy.  The surgeon decided that in order to give Andy the best care possible, she would have to postpone the surgery until tomorrow.  Andy had already been given the anesthesia for at least a four hour procedure and now he would be woken up and told that they could not do what they had set out to do - he would have to face it all again tomorrow!  Frustration and disappointment all around.

THESE THINGS ARE SENT TO TRY US FOR SURE!

We still had to wait most of the day to get to see Andy.  The anesthesia had knocked him out as it was supposed to.  He also awoke with pain from the pre-op procedures and had to be given some pain meds.  Finally, at close to 1:00pm, we were sent to Andy's room and told that he would be brought up soon.

I FINALLY GOT TO SEE MY MAN!

Unfortunately, Andy was not in good shape.  He was quickly settled into bed and told to rest - it would all begin again tomorrow morning at 7:30am.  I know our friends and family prayed all day for Andy and our family, however, God answered in the most unusual way.  There is a reason.  God always has His own reason for doing something outside of the way WE think it should be done.  I cannot see the reason but even amongst the frustration and disappointment, we all realize that He is at work.

For now, Andy rests and waits and we plan for another day just like today - waiting rooms, prayers and hospital.  I cannot say enough how thankful we are for the prayers of God's people and the grace that has been given from the Almighty.  We were not prepared for today, but HE was!

There is a definite peace in knowing that 

GOD IS NEVER SURPRISED OR BEWILDERED! 

He has already been in our tomorrow and knows what's ahead! 

So tomorrow morning we start again - 

FOR OUR GOOD AND FOR HIS GLORY.

(round 2 here we come!)

   

My waiting buddy:-) 

The Hardest Goodbye...

     December 13, 2004 our little family of 6 left our comfortable life in Ohio, USA and moved across
the ocean to the country of England.  We moved to a little town called Carlisle on the Northwest coast bordering England and Scotland.  We knew no one in this city. We knew no one within 100 miles of this city.  We did not yet know the culture, but we did know that God had called us to start a church and to make a difference in this city.
     April 6, 2006 Lighthouse Baptist Church was started and has definitely seen it 's ups and downs.  There have been weeks where it was just our family sitting in the seats in the middle of the huge community centre hall.  Through it all God has blessed and we have been shown time and time again that it was 100% His leading that our family came to England and specifically the city of Carlisle.  We fell in love with the community, the culture, the country side, the language but most importantly, THE PEOPLE.

**Fast forward now, 9 1/2 years (and two more children:) and God has shown us that it is His time for us to leave the country of England.  **

After 33 years at our home church, my pastor father, Dr. David Curington, will be retiring from pastoring to move into a new roll in his ministry.  He will be traveling and speaking across the country as well as continuing to write his pastoral study materials/helps.  My mother will continue to write her children's lessons and make them available to churches nationwide as well. (www.pkpublications.com - check them out for great KJV 1611 study materials)  Our home church, Central Baptist Church of Amelia, Ohio voted to call Andy back as their new pastor!  Not a decision to be made lightly, Andy and I both fasted and prayed for God's clear guidance.  With utter peace in our hearts, Andy accepted the call to pastor Central Baptist Church.
     Lighthouse Baptist Church of Carlisle has been going from strength to strength!  We knew God would not have us leave the church here without a "shepherd" pastor to lead them.  We began to pray in earnest for God to send someone.  Enter the Keith and Kimberly Cashner family….
     Unknown to us, God was already moving in the hearts of Keith and Kimmy that they would be moving their ministry.  We spoke with Bro. Keith and Kimmy and within a couple of months, it was clear to us all that God would have them be the next pastor/family to lead at Lighthouse Baptist Church.  
     So began the process of telling our church members here in England.  Much dread, tears and time was spent telling these beloved folks that God was moving us on.  In the absence of any family close to us, the church members have filled our lives with love and caring just as any family would.  How difficult it has been to tell each of them that we are leaving and lay this precious ministry into the Cashner's capable hands. God has been in it each step of the way and for that we are ever thankful.
      The selling of our belongings, settling of affairs and packing up the house began and, as always, we thought we would have "loads of time"!  It went by all too swiftly! Tonight, we now sit in a hotel room in Manchester ready to fly out in the morning to move back to America for good!  How fast the time has gone!  Talking about what the future will hold is gone. The future is here now!  We are leaving England (as our home) for good!  There is definitely a surreal feeling tonight as we face certain changes.
     True, we are Americans, but almost 10 years of our lives have been lived outside of America and in a uniquely different culture.  Almost all of what my children know is British!  Most, if not all, of their lives have been spent in England.  They have all had their moments of tears.  They have all had their moments of excitement.  I believe, like Andy and I, they thought we would always be in England.  It is a strange, yet definitely exciting, time for our family as a whole.
     I, personally, have cried so much my eyes are sore.  I can handle selling off more than half of my worldly possessions.  That is just stuff!  What is hard, is leaving dear folks that have become like brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews to you.  Families that have become so dear to our every day lives. They are the ones that we are finding it so difficult to leave.  We are so blessed that they have expressed over and over how much they will miss us and that we have had an impact on their lives.


     We had been in England for a little over a year and wondered if we had left just then, would anyone even remember that we had been here.  We wanted to badly to make a difference for Christ where He had called us to minister.  We determined that we would put down deep roots and love the people around us - not just on Sundays, but every day.  We made sure that our home was always open. We tried to put the needs of the people above our own needs. We prayed for God to do a work in and around us.  Yesterday was our last Sunday and 50 people gathered at the Denton Holme Community Centre for services at Lighthouse Baptist Church!!!  What a blessing to know that there has been a difference made for the cause of Christ in the city of Carlisle, England.  Through my mind's eye, I can clearly seen each of the dear faces of the Lighthouse church family! They are each beloved to us!
 
  We are blessed to know that thanks to the tender hearts of the church family and the leadership of Pastor Cashner, the Lighthouse Baptist Church of Carlisle will go on as strong as ever even in our absence.  The church belongs to God and we know that He will continue to bless as they strive to know more of our Lord.
     Our hearts are so full of the emotions of the past few days.  We are sad to leave England, but excited to move into the new ministry God has called us to.  We love the folks of Carlisle, but our hearts are already full of love for the precious folks of Central Baptist Church of Amelia, Ohio.  We are humbled by all God has allowed us to see and experience through the ministry here in England and we are brought very low to think that He would allow us the privilege of serving the dear folks of our home church that has loved and supported us for so long.  We are blessed beyond comprehension!  A dream come true!
Our hearts are overflowing with thankfulness.
     Tomorrow we will board the plane that will take us from a land that we have loved for more than 14 years!  We are ever thankful for each experience and each friend made along the way.  What a journey we have been on and we look forward to the miles we will travel in our future service for our Lord!

Thankful for a Life

     Have you ever gone through times when you felt like you were on the outside looking in on your own life?  Have you felt like you were moving along, going through the motions, but not REALLY focused on the details of daily life?  The past few weeks have been like that here at the Sturm house.
     In our last post, Brieanna was healing from her recent surgery, we were rejoicing in a wonderful Valentine dinner with our fabulous church family and then dealing with second degree burns on our youngest child Emily.  No sooner had we jumped that hurdle when Andy had to leave to go to America to be with his dying mother.  It just seemed one thing on top of another.  Still God was gracious!

     Andy was able to make it back to see his mother and even spent a few days with her.  On March 1, 2014, Linda Sturm finally won her fight with pain and peacefully went home to be with our Saviour.  Our hearts are crushed by the loss, but we are ever thankful for God's mercy in that she is no longer suffering.

     *How could I comfort my husband over the phone?  I felt displaced.  

     *How could I tell my babies that they will never see their Grandma Linda again on this earth? I felt unprepared.  

     *How could I show my husband's family how much I truly loved and cared for this dear lady, my second mother?  I felt insincere and distant.

     At a time in the lives of my "in law" family when I desperately wanted to "be there" for them, I was an ocean away.  When my heart longed to be a daughter, sister, and grand-daughter to my precious "second family" I was too far away!  I know I am where God has placed us.  I know I was needed here at home to help my children through their grief, but oh how I wanted to hug Andy's neck and give my love to his brother, sister, father and grandmother.  I wanted to help.  I wanted to have a chance to tell my "second mom" goodbye and thank her for the 33 years of friendship and love. To thank her for her influence through my church family and her encouragement in my own family.

     How do you say thank you to the woman who gave you the love of your life?  My mother-in-law raised my husband to be the man that he is today!  She taught him to be a gentleman.  She instilled in him character, caring and amazing generosity.  Her mischievous and "jokester" personality is ever present in my husband. So many of the things that made my husband into the man I love today, are thanks to this lady! I grope for words to express my gratitude for the life of Linda Sturm.
      I cannot say thank you enough!  I cannot express my grief or heartache at this loss.  All I pray now is that she knew how much I, as her daughter-in-law, loved her.  I pray she knew how special she was to her grandchildren.  I pray she knew that I will ALWAYS do my best to take care of her son.

     Today, the funeral is over.  Today, my husband is back at home.  Today, we try to get back to "normal" life.  From today, the real loss and grieving begins. From today, we will ever be thankful for the life of Linda Sturm and her influence on our family!
     Though the reality of her absence is too hard to fully grasp, the impact she had on so many is easily felt.  Hundreds of friends and family came out to the visitation/wake and funeral to let Andy's family know how much this wonderful lady meant to them.  Her talent as a professional cake decorator and her life as a friend left an impact on so many!
     Mum Sturm demonstrated true "quiet strength" for so many years.  Though pain and suffering were a large part of her life, she continued to smile.  Even to the end, she insisted that Andy and our family were "right where we are supposed to be" and that even Andy should "not come home for me." Her answer to her own welfare was always "I'm fine" with a little grin.  Her desire was for Andy to follow the will of God and never waver - even for her!  To say that I admire this great lady would be an understatement.
    We will always cherish the times we had with her and we will try our best to remember all that she taught us and stood for.  We will never stop looking forward to that sweet Heavenly reunion!

  Though our hearts ache at this loss, our family can honestly smile and say Thank you, Lord, for the life of Linda Sturm.

…when my heart is overwhelmed:...

…lead me to the rock that is higher than I." - Psalm 61:2b

     I have been overwhelmed at times in my life.  I am sure everyone can empathize with that feeling.  At times it can seem that everything is bearing down on you at once and the air around you gets a bit hard to breathe.  We have had some days like that as of late….
     The past few weeks have been  bit of a blur.  There has been doctor's appointments for Andy (his health has not been at its best in the past couple of months), caring for Brieanna as she heals and then a second surgery and hospital stay for her just 4 weeks ago.  We even had a procedure for Andy in the same hospital, AT THE SAME TIME as Brieanna's surgery! Andy's mother has been in and out of hospital and Andy has been extremely worried - especially with not being able to be near her.  We have been planning for our church Couple's Valentine's dinner as well as company coming to stay with us and then a baptism and "all church dinner" as well. These are all necessary, needed, and even fun things to have in our lives.
     The Cashner family arrived on Friday, February 7.  Saturday, the day of church Valentine dinner, was crazy but so worth it as the meal and activities went so well!  The folks had a great time and Bro. Keith Cashner brought a very needed and applicable devotion for the night.  Dinner was so yummy and the whole spirit of the night was sweet!  God really blessed the fellowship through the evening.


     It was late when we finally got the community centre back in shape and headed home.  Pulling into our drive, Andy got a phone call that Emily had fallen and gotten hurt!  We rushed out of the car and into the house and upstairs to find the Brieanna sobbing, and Emily, poor girl, naked and screaming on the floor.  I expected blood, but what we got was VERY pink legs and rear-end area.  While running their bath, the kids had turned on just the HOT water and Emily had fallen into it trying to climb into the tub on her own.  I had no idea our water got THAT hot!